| i don't work vith tha boys. cos i used to be vun. |
[Aug. 26th, 2006|12:56 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | cow town | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cynical | ] |
| [ | music |
| | actionreaction | ] |
although i'm like 99.99% sure that nobody reads this anymore (as it's been about half a year since i've updated). i just have one question: why is it that the only time i feel i can be mildly open. mildly insiteful. mildly interesting...is when i've had a few drinks in me? i don't know if "insecurity" is the correct label. i've been quite non-talkative ever since i was a kid. i hate it. i want to be more forthcoming when i'm sobre. what the fuck is the cure? |
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| FEEL MY LEGS! |
[Apr. 5th, 2006|03:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  peaceful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Neverending White Lights: The Grace | ] |
so i'm visiting calgary once again before i move back here for good at the end of the month and got tired of licking my balls so hopped on myspace for awhile. now...please tell me:
on myspace i've been added by all the stupid dykes who are the regulars at the vancouver gay lady club (it was called "LICK" but now it's called "MIX". because they don't want it to be exclusively a lesbian bar but have MIX OF PEOPLE. how creative. nonetheless....the same gross lez's still frequent the joint)
generally when i've been to lick and actually having a conversation with these people (aka: i'm way too drunk to realize what a disgusting gorilla with breasts and a uterus i'm talking to) i notice that they have this very strange way of talking. using phrases in completely serious tones (to imply that they do in actuality and every day life talk like this) like "ya hurd" and "wha gwan" and "baller" etc.
and i'm not just talking a few of these girls. it's pretty much all of them. with the exception of my friends, and the severely overweight "ladies" with shaved heads and plaid shirts who probably all listen to bryan adams or something.
not only is this completely retarded because it's a bunch of white lesbians not only listening to rap (which is fine), dancing to rap (also fine), but actually SPEAKING AND ACTING like a middle american black rapper.....but most importantly....they are CANADIAN. COME ON.
so i'm curious....is this just vancouver? or do gay girls in other cities actually act like regular gay white girls? just a question.
oh, and as an exciting addition: please see the email i just wrote to tizzy boo explaining my treck this time around to cowtown:
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MUMBLER
i'm in calgary. my face isn't chapped. yet. i took the bus here (which took a brisk 18 hours) and the whole time an early 20's chinaman sat in front of me and drank pulpy orangejuice out of a large carton. so obviously i asked him out.
and the door to the bathroom on the bus (which is just an outhouse with a screendoor) was broken and since i was sitting in the back the whole trip i got to hear the soothing sounds of old pee pee and poo poo swishing back and forth. it was like listening to the sea.
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hope everyone is well.
oh...ps - i have blackeye because my roomate lisa sat on my face. i think i need to go to charm school or something. |
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| slapping holes |
[Feb. 15th, 2006|05:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hungover | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Imperial Teen: Ivanka | ] |
well it's been quite some time since i've been on this fucking thing. no computer at the house. and i only have the patience to sit in these fucking chinese internet cafe's for so long. the guy two computer's down is looking at porn with pregnant women. he thinks i can't see it. super.
so quick update. everything seems pretty good. but i'm moving back to calgary on may 1st. so that will be interesting. still staying with the band though. end of may we're leaving for a three month tour through canada and the states. then possibly end of august we'll be going to asia. i've always wanted an asian to call my very own.
i'm going to have to cut this short before i punch that guy in the neck. seriously. can't you rent a fucking porno and go home and watch it, asshole? people these days....
hope everyone is well. give yerself a rubdown pour moi. |
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| "GIVE ME MY PILLS YOU GIRL BITCH" |
[Sep. 11th, 2005|03:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  awake | ] |
| [ | music |
| | irene cara: what a feeling | ] |
oh yes. working at the portland hotel today, rather than the injection clinic. this hotel does more medication hand outs than any of the other ones. it's kind of overwhelming at first. if you give some junkie the wrong medication, or the wrong amount they could...well....die. but fuck. if they want them, and you can't give them to them yet. dammit. they get pissed.
some guy who smelled like hot piss and had a cane and a REALLY lazy eye (seriously. this fucking thing had a mind of it's own) wanted his dilaudin two hours before we were supposed to give it to him. when i told him no, he tried to take a swing at me (though he didn't seem to notice the rather enormous counter in his way), then fell. he swore and said he was going to call the police. my response was "call away. you can't have them now guy. you'll get sick. two more hours. seriously. i'm sorry." that is when he proceeded to call me a "girl bitch" to which i responded "well i'm DEFINITELY not doing you any favours now". i told him that he had to leave the office because he stunk and had to take a bath. he didn't hear me. but his old toothless lady friend did and laughed. or some sort of mix between a laugh and some noise a moose would make if it was giving birth or had a cyst on it's ovary.
it's oddly fucking fascinating here. sheeeit.
and i would just like to say that upon my 30th time of watching flashdance, i never fully realized how fucking ridiculous that stunt double is. honestly. i think james earl jones would have looked less obvious than that thing playing jennifer beal's dance stand in.
movies tonight. and haircut. i'm thinking beehive. definitely. |
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| "so scared" don't buy ME panties |
[Aug. 29th, 2005|10:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  weird | ] |
| [ | music |
| | detroit cobras | ] |
that's what rene just said to me. i think she's been swallowing too much south african hairspray.
smears played lastnight. fucking fantastic. except the obnoxious drunk ass "punk" dipshit who kept on trying to circle mosh. and for some reason continued pushing around all the smallest girls in the room. at one point during the second band i got pissed and caught him by his shirt and yelled in his face to chill out and that this isn't warped tour and we're not 15. he stopped for a few songs. then during the smears it became unbearable. he clocked my tierza in the head. i managed to grab and push him a few times and swear in his face. but oh dear. then our beloved lisa decided to take it to the next level. i turn around just in time to see my new roomate barrel him to the ground and punch him in the face. i ran over and got her off of him. her arm is buggered and my leg is all swollen. it looks like a testicle. well...just one part of it. i'll let you imagine that for a minute. yum. i should really look into getting that removed. my i just get sexier by the day.
but other than THAT! fun night.
and i finally kicked ass at work today. so there. now send money. i need food and smokes. and a new wig. and bedazzler so i can look more lady like at work. maybe i'll get a promotion.
SO MUCH SHIT COMING UP. i'm so tired and busy all the goddamn time my face is going to fall off. then they can make a movie about me called "girl without a face". mel gibson can play me.
i don't know what i'm talking about.
everything is bizarre right now.
and now erin is here so up yours |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 21st, 2005|09:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "ooooh! yeaaaah! mmmm!" | ] |
listening to my roomate have sex (very loud sex i might add) was not on my list of to do things this evening. |
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| oh yeah |
[Jun. 7th, 2005|10:58 pm] |
go to:
www.battleofthebands.com/theflairs
and listen to our fucking tunes. THE WHOLE THING. so we can play at warped tour.
you're all very attractive. |
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| FUCK YO COUCH |
[Jun. 7th, 2005|05:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | complacent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | coldplay: fix you | ] |
by the meat curtains of ellen; the new coldplay album is fucking GREAT. went to the record store i used to work at, didn't recognize anybody. finally managed to make into conversation that i worked at that fucking store for three years. so they gave it to me for ass cheap, plus a bunch of free promo stuff. go me.
then i bought 'the birdcage' dvd for five bucks. yessssssss.
saw star wars lastnight. it was better than the other most recent two. but still OBVIOUSLY inferior to the originals. but oh...there's just one character who manages to steal my heart every time. and i would SO DO IT TO THEM! yeah. you know what i'm talking about. yoda. bless his heart.
my brother has serious stink issues. he managed to stink up the whole house. i think it's his feet which is just fucking sick. i think i'm actually going to tell him now. it's just too much. like "uhh...nick. the only girls who like guys who stink, are girls who stink too. and i KNOW you don't want to be tapping some smelly ass bitch".
i'm eating a wrap i bought at the grocery store. it tastes like feces. |
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| NO! HE WAS JELLIN! |
[Jun. 2nd, 2005|10:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | awake | ] |
| [ | music |
| | rilo kiley: portions for foxes | ] |
my luscious friend erin recorded right before i left. her project is called THE OWLS. she plays all instruments on the recordings except drums. and tambourine. and SHAKER. that would be me. she is very good. go listen and see if my shaker lessons paid off.
www.myspace.com/theowls
and of course, don't forget to check out my band
www.myspace.com/theflairs
and this silly tit
www.myspace.com/incivilianclothing
i was seriously about to write incivilianloincloth. i need to get off this thing.
fin |
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